I have no idea how long I spent in the tub, but I could start to tell that soon I would need to start pushing. I knew that in the hospital they do not want you to deliver in the tub, so if I started pushing they would rush me out of the tub and into my bed ASAP, so in order to be able to take my time getting into bed, I got out on my own. {For being in such physical anguish, I was amazed over and over again that I had lucid moments between contractions where my mind was able to think again and plan for the future. It was remarkable.}
My contractions were not very close together; they never got more than 3 minutes apart. It took at least three contractions to get from the tub into bed and once in bed Melissa gave me permission to do whatever felt comfortable. It wasn't long before I felt like pushing. The urge to push is such a powerful reflex. It is like the urge to reach the surface of the water when you've been under too long and your body is craving oxygen. Some women hate to push; I love it. It makes me feel less like I'm being tossed about in a stormy sea, and more like I'm commanding my ship through rough waters.
A couple of pushes on my knees helped bring Jared down, but his heart rate didn't like the position I was in, so Melissa asked if I would like to try another way. Through tears and a foggy haze in my mind, I remember saying, "I don;t know...I don't know...Just tell me what to do." So Melissa did and I was grateful for her for taking charge. Some time after that I remember thinking {another lucid moment} that I remembered exactly what it felt like for Austin to be born. Prior to that moment I had forgotten all of the hard stuff of Austin's delivery. My mind has stored the whole event under the file folder, "Successful VBAC, It Was Amazing". But in that moment before Jared was born the pain and the terror and the helplessness of delivering a baby came rushing back, and I was afraid. Pushing feels good, but pushing is scary.
After a particularly difficult contraction I heard Darren and Melissa say that they could see his head. Melissa encouraged me to reach down and feel his head. As soon as I did I knew that I was going to deliver him on the next push, no matter what. When the urge to push came, I was ready. I had determined in my mind that it was time and as I pushed I could hear Melissa and Darren telling me to stop pushing, to slow down, but I couldn't and Jared was born at 12:02am on Friday, August 30th.
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