Sister Wives Christmas Gift

Each year my little group of friends gets together to open Christmas gifts that we have made for one another.  Last year, Quinae made each of us an apron with our initials embroidered on the pocket to remind us that even when we are busy doing the normal day-to-day things that we are united in our desire to be wonderful wives and mothers.

This year, Kristi wrote a letter to all of her Sister-Wives.

Kristi hit the nail right on the head with all of us.  We are exactly what she said we are and more.  We are best friends and we each have talents and strengths that make us unique and valuable.  I should also add that among us, Kristi is "The Therapist".  When you have a problem, Kristi is the one to go to.  She will help you determine the "why" behind how you are feeling or someone else is acting.  She puts things back into perspective.

I really have the most amazing group of friends imaginable.

From left to right: The Do-it-Yourselfer, The Therapist, The Doer, The Fixer, The Planner,
The Photographer, The Crafter, The Human Thesaurus, and not pictured, The Chef.

For my "fixer" gift I got a set of screwdrivers.  And I am a fixer.  In fact, earlier today I fixed our pre-lit Christmas tree by replacing the main electrical cord and troubleshooting two strands of unlit lights and two weeks ago I was working hard to fix our oven that had suddenly stopped baking.  As a second gift, I also got a bar of soap because out of all the Sister Wives, I've got the biggest potty mouth.

Delivering Christmas Cheer

Today after church today I made 8 dozen cookies to package up and deliver to our neighbors.  The boys wanted to help me make the cookies, but by the time we got to adding the 4 1/2 cups of flour I was so tired of them fighting over who got to add what and whether or not life was fair that I kicked them out of the kitchen.  So far we were off to a great start...bah humbug.

When Darren got home from his meetings (and after I had addressed and written a Christmas message for 12 neighbors) we set off to deliver some Christmas cheer.  We gathered up 4 plates of cookies and cards and headed out.  The first 3 deliveries went well.  The boys were a model of family perfection and I was feeling like such a wonderful mother.

By the time Darren and I made it back inside the house to get another set of cookies and cards to deliver the boys were back outside ready for round two.  When we made it back outside the boys were no where to be found and in my frustration I started hollering for them.  They were half way down the block standing on the door step of a neighbor that we hadn't planned to give cookies to!

I wish I had a video of the tantrum I was having as I tried to quietly yell to Trevor to come back.  (My tantrum was tempered by the fact that Baby J was asleep in the Ergo on my chest and I didn't think I could handle a crying baby on top of everything else, so I HAD to keep him asleep.)  Well, instead of coming back Trevor yelled back, "Don't worry, I'll ring the doorbell!"  My tantrum escalated and Darren took off jogging down the street to retrieve our disobedient children.  When they finally came back, and after lecturing them about paying attention, the Christmas spirit was gone.

Each house was the same.  The boys fought over whose turn it was to ring the doorbell, to hand over the cookies, and to hand over the card.  And while Darren and I chatted with our neighbors and wished them a Merry Christmas our boys took off running to another house only to fight with each other while waiting for Darren and I to catch up.  With each house I felt more and more like a failure as a mother.

And then I thought, "no!"  This is just life.  This is my crazy, imperfect, maddening, and wonderful life.  I am so blessed to have healthy and handsome children and a hard working husband.  We are blessed with the means to provide for ourselves and help out those around us.  I am a force for good in my home, my neighborhood, and my community.  I am a good mother and even though it was frustrating, we made memories tonight.

3 Little Pigs

Based on the title you might think this is going to be a rant about how much work I do everyday to keep my home looking nice, but it's not.

As part of his science curriculum, Trevor is learning all about different types of houses and they are reading several different versions of The Three Little Pigs.  Over the last few weeks they have made houses out of different materials.

Notice what his teacher did there?  A house of straw(s), a house of sticks (or picks) and a house of bricks (of sugar).  Kindergarten is so much fun!

Making General Conference More Meaningful

This morning I was so sad that conference weekend was over. For the first time since I had kids it was a weekend that I enjoyed and thanks to some last-minute planning, my kids enjoyed it as well.

On Tuesday night at our monthly Relief Society Meeting we were talking about ways to make conference more meaningful my instituting traditions and helping kids be involved and active listeners.  

Here is the conference board that I, along with several others friends, made to help our children be more involved in the talks. 

It was a slam-dunk success.  The boys had so much fun finding the speakers, putting them up to the pulpit and listening for the topics to add to the word bubble.  At the end of two days, both boys could recognize several members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the 12.  (Austin's personal favorite was "Uchie-dorf")  We had a wonderful weekend full of family fun, wonderful talks, and yummy food.  I can't wait to do it again in April and neither can the boys.

Austin Starts Preschool

One week ago, I got a phone call telling me that a space for Austin opened up at Little Chargers Preschool and just 4 days later I sent him off to his first day of school.

As I was taking this picture of him standing on our front porch before his first day of preschool, I thought, "He's too little to be going to preschool."  But looking back on pictures from two years ago, Trevor looked just as little.

On the second day of class they read the book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" and made these adorable letter tree hats.

There is another "Austin" in his class, so they call him "Austin H."  He likes to tell people that he got a new name at preschool.  (I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand yet that the "H" stands for Hales.)

What he does know is that "A" is for Austin, so therefore, anything that has the letter A on it must belong to him.  Because he has a natural inclination to hoard things, learning that A is for Austin has meant that the things he chooses to hoard now include random (and sometimes important) papers, bottles of lotion, and anything else with an A on it.

It's a good thing he's cute!

**Update**
I wanted to remember some of the projects Austin has done in preschool thus far.  The teacher has a sample of what the project is supposed to look like and the kids are given freedom to make it look like hers, or not.  Austin usually chooses "not".  He is learning to use scissors and he cut out that frog mouth all by himself.

This "D" was also cut out by him.  Notice the placement of the dogs ear.  Love it.

By far, this pig is my favorite project he has brought home so far.  Look at the creativity!  A nose on your forehead.  Genius!

Jared's Birth Story: Part Four, Post-partum

Right after he was born Melissa placed sweet Jared into my arms. I was exhausted and in pain, but he was so cute and so perfect, nothing else seemed to matter. I remember thinking that he looked just like Trevor. Unfortunately, delivering the baby does not put an end to the pain, but holding a sweet baby sure does make it easier to endure. While Melissa was stitching me up, I remember telling Darren and everyone else in the room that I was NEVER going to do that again. At the time, and even now, I can not imagine willingly choosing to endure the pain of child birth again.

After a rough night of sleep, I called my friend Kristi Thulin in the morning to let her know that Jared was born and I had a sweet conversation with Trevor. I told him that last night while he was sleeping, Baby Jared was born. He said, "Aww, is he so cute?" It brought tears to my eyes to hear my first baby ask in such a mature and sincere voice about his new baby brother. I replied through my tears that "yes, he is so cute!"

After school was out, family came to visit and they brought Trevor and Austin with them to meet Jared. It is always so amazing to me after the I have a baby and my bigger "babies" come to visit that my heart grows, somewhat like the Grinch, and suddenly there is enough love for everyone.

Austin was really so excited to see me. He came right up onto my bed to give me a hug and I couldn't believe how grown-up he was. Unlike Trevor, who could be persuaded Austin wanting nothing to do with holding Jared. He was content to just stare and smile at him without touching him.

As a special gift the the boys, from Jared, they got a new movie that they can watch over and over again while I take naps on a couch.









Later that night my friends Kacey and Kristy came to visit bringing along with them Jared's friends from the pre-existence Lauren and Wesley. They also brought chocolate, which was awesome.

Jared's Birth Story: Part Three, Pushing & Delivery

I have no idea how long I spent in the tub, but I could start to tell that soon I would need to start pushing. I knew that in the hospital they do not want you to deliver in the tub, so if I started pushing they would rush me out of the tub and into my bed ASAP, so in order to be able to take my time getting into bed, I got out on my own. {For being in such physical anguish, I was amazed over and over again that I had lucid moments between contractions where my mind was able to think again and plan for the future. It was remarkable.}

My contractions were not very close together; they never got more than 3 minutes apart. It took at least three contractions to get from the tub into bed and once in bed Melissa gave me permission to do whatever felt comfortable. It wasn't long before I felt like pushing. The urge to push is such a powerful reflex. It is like the urge to reach the surface of the water when you've been under too long and your body is craving oxygen. Some women hate to push; I love it. It makes me feel less like I'm being tossed about in a stormy sea, and more like I'm commanding my ship through rough waters.

A couple of pushes on my knees helped bring Jared down, but his heart rate didn't like the position I was in, so Melissa asked if I would like to try another way. Through tears and a foggy haze in my mind, I remember saying, "I don;t know...I don't know...Just tell me what to do." So Melissa did and I was grateful for her for taking charge. Some time after that I remember thinking {another lucid moment} that I remembered exactly what it felt like for Austin to be born. Prior to that moment I had forgotten all of the hard stuff of Austin's delivery. My mind has stored the whole event under the file folder, "Successful VBAC, It Was Amazing". But in that moment before Jared was born the pain and the terror and the helplessness of delivering a baby came rushing back, and I was afraid. Pushing feels good, but pushing is scary.

After a particularly difficult contraction I heard Darren and Melissa say that they could see his head. Melissa encouraged me to reach down and feel his head. As soon as I did I knew that I was going to deliver him on the next push, no matter what. When the urge to push came, I was ready. I had determined in my mind that it was time and as I pushed I could hear Melissa and Darren telling me to stop pushing, to slow down, but I couldn't and Jared was born at 12:02am on Friday, August 30th.

Continue to Jared's Birth Story, Part Four --->

Jared's Birth Story: Part Two, Active Labor & Transition

We took our time getting to the birth center and when we got there all the beds in triage were full, so I walked the waiting room, pausing every 5-6 minutes to have a contraction.  The contractions hurt and I could not walk or talk through them, so I practiced relaxing through them and tried not to get psyched out because I remembered that they get so much worse toward the end.

In triage I was still in good spirits.  Darren turned on the Seahawks game and we hung out in triage watching Jared's strong heartbeat and my powerful contractions on the monitor.  When Melissa come in to check on me I was 5 cm dilated and closer to 80% effaced.  After a quick and insanely painful membrane sweep the party got started.  Through my contractions never really got much closer together than 4-5 minutes apart, they definitely got more intense and they were lasting about 2 mins.  I could feel the contraction ramp up, peak, come down a bit, then ramp up again to another peak and finally dissolve away.  I tried to remain as calm as possible by listening to Hypnobabies scripts on my iPod and it really seemed to help.  After a while, Melissa came in and announced that I was being admitted and that my room was just a short walk down the hall.

Once in my room I got a hep-lock IV in my arm and was put back on the fetal monitor.  I decided to be out of bed sitting on the birthing ball during my contractions.  I have no idea how much time passed between getting to my room and the one terrible contraction that made me start crying and telling Darren and the nurse that I couldn't stand it any more and I needed an epidural.

(Earlier that day, while I was in the office with Melissa she asked me if I planned to have an epidural and I said, "no."  She politely asked why and I explained that I understood that an epidural can sometimes cause baby's heart rate to be more erratic and that an erratic baby heart rate is one of the indications that my uterine scar is failing and I would need an emergency c-section.  I expressed that it was important to me to avoid an unnecessary c-section and therefore, I would avoid an epidural as well.  Her response, "good answer.")

After I started crying, expressing my desire for drugs the nurse said that it sounded like I was making progress and that she would go get Melissa.  Melissa joined us and reassured me that I was doing so well relaxing through my contractions.  She checked me again and this time I was 7-8 cm and nearly 100% effaced.  Through I was in a lot of pain and still crying I knew that feeling like I couldn't do it was a good sign that I was well on my way to another successful VBAC.  Still feeling in pain, but now more heartened that things were progressing normally I apologized to the midwife and nurse for crying.  As soon it came out of my mouth I knew how ridiculous it sounded and so after they both said there was no reason for me to apologize, I said, "As soon as I said that I knew there was no reason to apologize, I'm having a baby for crying out loud!"  Soon after the laughs faded I was knee deep in another contraction and the smiles were gone again.

I spent the remainder of transition in a warm bath.  It really helped to take some of the pressure off in between contractions.  I would not have made it through transition so gracefully if it were not for Darren and Melissa's support.  When Darren was with me he would press firmly on my hip bones to help relieve some of the pressure.  When Melissa was there she rubbed the crease between my eyebrows reminding me to relax and spoke so kindly and softly about how wonderful I was doing.  She taught me how to blow horse lips and that helped a lot to ease my tension during contractions.  Often while the second peak in my contraction was ramping up I would say, "damn" and that would make me feel better knowing that at least everyone could hear that though I look calm and collected, those contractions really, really hurt.

After a really bad contraction I would tell Darren or Melissa that I was grateful that the next contraction wouldn't be as bad as that one was.  I felt like if I made it through that last one, then this next one would be a piece of cake, and usually it was.  The problem was the contraction after the one that wasn't so bad.  :)  That contraction usually had me saying "damn" and starting to cry again hoping for an end to the pain.

Continue to Jared's Birth Story, Part Three --->

Jared's Birth Story: Part One, Prodromal Labor

prodromal labor: irregular (but occasionally regular) contractions that do not increase in frequency or duration and therefore fail to induce labor and produce a baby.

Prodromal labor, also known as false labor (though the contractions feel anything but false), is very frustrating and emotionally taxing.  With Austin I had about 12 hours of contractions that were irregular and painful.  With Jared my contractions started at 2:00 am Tuesday morning and I thought that Wednesday was the day I would deliver baby Jared.  By Wednesday night, I was still not in active labor and it was a bit disheartening, but I was being lovingly patient with sweet Baby Jared.  Whenever he was ready, I was ready.

By Thursday morning, after two nights of very little sleep due to painful and irregular contractions, I was feeling more and more frustrated with my body.  The only good news about not having a baby on Wednesday was that I was able to go with Darren to take Trevor to his first day of Kindergarten.  A friend took a video of me that morning and the video shows me smiling and joking, but right after the video stops Kristi asks me how I am doing, and I lost it and started to cry.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the hormones, or the contractions, or the fact that I was sending my sweet Trevor off to school.  Heck, maybe it was all of the above.

While Trevor was unfazed by my crying episode, Austin was very concerned and when I tried to leave him with Kristi and her son (his best friend, Max) he would not let me go.  It seemed he could sense that within a few short hours his life would change forever as he knew it with the addition of a new baby.  Finally, I was able to go and left Austin in the care of good friends while  went home to take a Benadryl-induced nap.

I woke from my nap around 1:00 pm and was still having annoyingly irregular contractions.  I called Melissa, the midwife on-call, and she agreed to see me in the office to see if my cervix had made any change after 36 hours of contractions.  On Monday, I was 2 cm dilated, but my cervix was not softening much at all.  I told Melissa that if I hadn't made change I would consider a c-section.  Her response, "Come see me my dear, and we'll see how much things have changed."

Things had changed for the better and after finding out that I was now almost 4 cm dilated and 60% effaced I put the thought of a c-section out of my mind.  After Melissa stripped my membranes I went home to get my ducks in a row in hopes that Jared would come soon.  Kristi picked up Trevor from school and we made plans to have him spend the night at her house so that he could go to school in the morning.  When Darren got home from work he took Austin to Granny CJ's house to spend the night.

While Darren was gone, I got into a warm bath and timed my contractions which were now about 4 mins apart.  As the night wore on my contractions never got closer together, but they did start to get more and more painful and by 7:30 I was having a hard time talking through them, so we called Melissa and decided to head into the birth center.

Continue to Jared's Birth Story, Part Two --->

Austin, In a Word (or five)

re·gres·sion  - noun
  1. the act of going back to a previous place or state; return or reversion.

in·de·pend·ent - adjective
  1. not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.

"Austin has been potty-trained since Christmas, but ever since I brought out the newborn diapers he has decided that he wants to wear them instead.  I don't fight it until it's time to leave the house."

mis·chie·vous - adjective

  1. maliciously or playfully annoying.

in·de·pend·ent - adjective
  2. not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free:

"Trevor took this picture of Austin sneaking snacks from the pantry before dinner.  See that face?  It always means trouble."

mis·chie·vous - adjective

  2. causing annoyance, harm, or trouble.

nas·ty - adjective
  1. physically filthy; disgustingly unclean.

"He dumped the contents of the ShopVac on his head and was so proud of himself.  It was gross."

self-de·ter·mi·na·tion - noun
  1. freedom to live as one chooses, or to act or decide without consulting another or others.

"Austin loves mustard.  I find the bottle of mustard in his hand several times a day, even sometimes in his mouth where he is sucking it straight from the bottle.  He even likes mustard on watermelon.  Weird."

My 35 Week Belly

Garrison Creek Ward Pregnacy Pact

5 beautiful mamas, with 15 kids already between us

 From left to right: 13 weeks, 23 weeks, 29 weeks, 37 weeks and 39 weeks

 Gender count:  3 boys, 1 girl, and 1 still unknown

My Weakness (26 weeks, 3 days)

With Trevor it was root beer floats....

With Austin it was Otter pops....

With Jared it's ice cream sandwiches!!!

They are my weakness and I may or may not have had 5 of them today.

Shhh...  It's our little secret.

Happy Mother's Day

Today for Mother's day I wanted a cute new picture of my boys.  I was not disappointed.

Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to be the mom of these funny and handsome young men.  I love being their mom!

 Happy Mother's Day!!

Girls Weekend 2013

My best friends and I had an epic weekend staycation before all the babies are born.  It was just what we needed for Mother's Day this year.  Here are some fun pictures of us before and after our chocolate tour at Theo Chocolates in Fremont.

Entitled "Ladies in Waiting (for Chocolate)"

I call this one "Booty Call"

Guess which 3 of us had a little too much chocolate on the tour?!?!

Avengers Cake for Eamon

I have just one word to say about this cake...   Booyah!

National Screen-free Week: Day One

Today was day one of no TV or kids on computers at our house and overall, it was a huge success.

I got started on blogging again and re-found my love for documenting the fun things that our family does for us and our posterity to enjoy.  The boys only asked to watch TV a couple of times during the day and when I said, "no" they whined, but did not throw a huge fit.

I found myself sitting down at the computer several times today to open Facebook and then caught myself and got up to work on something else.  I really didn't miss the TV much until it was time to make dinner and I was stuck in the kitchen cooking.  Usually I'll turn on a show while I cook to distract myself and the kids.  Instead of TV, today I thought about the day (the pros and the cons) and made plans in my mind for how to spend the rest of the night and tomorrow.

To be honest, at the end of the day I am tired.  No TV means less "down time" while also means more productivity, but I am worn out.  The good news is that it is before 10 pm and I am headed to bed instead of staying up until after 11 watching TV.

National Screen-free Week

In honor of National Screen-free Week our family is going TV and computer-free for a whole week starting tomorrow morning. I will still check email and blog, but no Facebook. In fact, to avoid temptation I will have Darren change my password tonight to something I don't know and put the TV someplace in the garage that is inconvenient to get to.

I first heard about National Screen-free week a week ago when I received an email from the site Power of Moms on ways to live through a week of no TV. You can read the article here, but my favorite quotes and thoughts are these:

- "Our lives are a series of choices. Some we deliberate over, others we make automatically. But as we begin to live our lives more consciously, with more attention to the details, we become increasingly aware of just how many decisions we do make in the course of every day–from what we toss into our grocery carts to the images we allow into our living rooms."

- "Once we see our homes as sanctuaries from a hectic world, then television begins to feel more and more like an unsavory intruder, robbing our rooms of life and meaning, stealing our time, and preying on our souls."

Those statements were profound for me and I found myself reflecting on them over and over again. Then on Saturday and Sunday we had a chance to go to Stake Conference. The theme and topic that kept coming up in various talks was the importance of safeguarding our homes and our families against the influence of the adversary and to spend more time teaching our children.  A light clicked for me and I knew that going screen-free this week was what I and my family needed to get back on track.

I have several goals for myself this week.  My goals are to finish the Book of Mormon by Sunday night, spend more time playing and teaching the boys, and work with the boys to plant our garden.  I want to catch up on my blog and complete some organizational projects around the house.  I know that I and my family will be blessed this week as we spend more time together, not in front of the TV.

Dress-up With Friends

Some things are more fun with friends, like playing dress-up.